babes GOOOOCH purse!!!!!!  she LUVd it!!! holllllaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!  almost got her some BLING but she sed that she dont wanna get married. WUT?????? why not????  most guys would LUV that shizz i think but i totally wanna get married to babe. she would be a bomba$$ wife. she cooks, cleans, and all kinds of other awesome stuff. maybe one day she will come around when she sees how super sweeeeet i really am.
she got me a gift certificet for a new tat!!!!!!!! babe LUVS tats and she wants me to have sleeves one day. wutev, maybe she'll marry me if i do that. she got me some new affliction tee's too and a couple new pairs of true religions and some abercrombie cologne. it smells BOMBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!
hope ya'lls had a good vallentimes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   WUT did you get?????

awwwww yeahhhhhh totally won dolla$ at PRESK saturday. babe was pissed that i went cuz she was workin. and ne ways, i think peeps shud be able to go out without their girls or boys sometimes. we don't have to do everything together babe!!!!!!!!! get off my jock!!!!  she has her own friends and i LUV when she hangs wit them. but she will be happy when i buy her new true religions and a new coach purse like tomorrow wit alla the $$$ i won. gots ta keep the bitches happy ya know???? but shizzz she shud be happy wit just me cuz i'm sooooo bomb. oh yeah, and that pic is the slots that i killed at PRESK. hollllaaaaa!!!!

yeahhhh yeahhhh!!

c'mon now brahs, tell me this doesn't look soooooooooooooooooo gooood??????  me n babe made these babies last night. i think i mite make this a food blog cuz i eat the most bomba$$ food n you would all be jelly of it. babe doesn't eat hers well done. she likes hers bloody and thats just nasty so i ate both of these. COOK THAT SHIZZZ!!!!!!!! gots to go work extra hard at the gym today. i know you all care about that too cuz my working out and weight loss stories are sooooooooooooooo sweet. i do shots of patron after i work out cuz it makes you totallyyyyyyyyy fugged up. hollllllaaaaaaaa!!!

Clarifying some shizzz --- aka my own personal soapboxxx.

This is Gio's creator. (We all know he would never speak this way). I'm here to set a few things straight. I won't interfere or bother you again, I promise.

This blog was started in an attempt to continue the fun some friends and I were having with Gio's character on Yelp. Gio was nothing but that --- a character. He didn't threaten anyone in any way. He wasn't meant to be taken seriously. He was only around to provide a bit of humor and to break up some of the monotony of day to day Yelping. Many people enjoyed Gio. It wasn't an inside joke in the beginning. (Gio's buzzwords HAVE definitely become an inside joke now, however.)  A handful of people knew who I was and that was only to keep the fun going, not to exclude anyone or be cliquey.

In short, this blog is not meant to be taken seriously, just as Gio is not meant to be taken seriously. Any posts Gio makes are not meant to offend anyone. He is simply playing a part.

It should also be noted that Gio's photos on Yelp, part of his persona, and buzzwords were stolen directly from my cousin's boyfriend ---- so really, if anyone should be offended it should be him.

Thanks pals. And one last thing:  holllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

yizzzelp

yeah so how u peeps like yelp now???? totally SUCKS don't it?????  i mite try n join that splinter faction cuz those peeps know how to party. prolly do shots a patron all night at their shizzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   n they don't complain about havin nuthin to do in cleveland cuz they know its bizzzomb!!!! me n babe will be at the bowling thing, the real one, not the fake one that one dude made just to start shizzz. like fo shizzle, hope theres salomzzz or sum good soosh at that bowling thing. n some hot broads. don't tell babe, she won't read this cuz she says the internet is for loosers, so it shud be alllll gooood!!!!  LUV my new blog!!

lasssssnight

ya kno???? i m so SICK of peeps sayin theres nuthin ta do in cleveland. n thats one of the reasons i started this blog so that i can show peeps there is so much ta do. and cuz yelp kicked me off cuz of that one douche. me n babe go out allllllllllllllllll the time. even when we don't go out we pretend that we do. but ne ways lassst night we went to sushi rock again. BEEF SOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! it was sooooooooooooooo goood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  that pic is the soosh we got. babe ate most of that cuz i don't eat fish. shizzz is soooooooooooo nasty. babe really puts it away even tho shes like only a hunnie pounds.

ending to my storyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 6: Well Done! or Harry Potter and the deathly Hollllaaaazzz!  

"What is this shizz?", yelled Gio from behind the counter. "Baby!!," cheered Babe, and rushed into his waiting tatted up arms. "Wait, you just said he was dead," i grunted to Man Hands as she still was straddling my chest. "That's what you told me to say, Ralphie!," she said in bewilderment. "Why did she just call you Ralphie?," quizzed Babe to "Gio".  "I'm not who you think I am," he muttered.

"My name is Ralph and i'm with the FBI. I've been undercover as a chach trying to bust a counterfeit Affliction clothing ring operating out of the Barley House," he explained. "But we've been dating for five years. Why did it take so long?", asked Babe. " Did i mention i'm with the FBI? We like to rack up overtime. But my mission is complete now. I'm headed back to Washington", Ralph/Gio said. " I thought you loved me. Why did you have me kidnapped? They almost killed my a$$!", screamed Babe as she teared up. " I hired Man Hands, a world renowned mercenary, to sequester you, not kill you! I sent her an email about it." Man Hands replied," you wrote that you wanted her SKEWERED, not sequestered."  Ralph answered," aahhh, whatever, i hate trying to spell. Dumb French crap. Just like Presque."

"Could you move a bit, i'm really having trouble breathing," i pleaded to Man Hands. She apologized and helped me to my feet. "So where does this leave us?", i asked the group. "Well, i still love you, no matter what your name is", said Babe. "And you have a way better job than i thought! I could be an FBI wife."  Ralph and Babe shared a deep kiss. They made their way out of the kitchen arm in arm. "You can keep the car," she said. then she blew me a kiss. "I never got your real name!," i called. "It's Marisa. Marisa Simone. Friend request me and i'll send you an invite to the wedding. Holla!", she shouted as she walked out of my life. Man Hands and i stared at each other not knowing what to do next. "Well, i guess no one got too badly hurt," she said. She was right. No one would miss Lanigan or Malone. They would be posthumously honored with a YouTube video of them falling to their deaths. The title was "Knuckleheads in the Ooze". She said," It was kind of exhilirating to fight you. Most men can't handle my ferocity. You wanna get a bite or something?"  I could eat, i thought. "Anything but sushi," i joked as if in a cheesy 80's buddy cop movie. We hobbled together to the Mitsubishi. Besides her  mitts, the lady was pretty foxy. I could see this going somewhere.

We got on the freeway and set out for places unknown and adventures too wild to ever imagine. "So what's your real name?", i asked her. That stupid building with the whales painted on it whipped by as she glanced over at me. "It's Paulene".  Pretty name. "What's yours, gumshoe?", she whispered into my ear while touching  my leg. "Stilton, baby."

the end